SAPPHIRE--Jeremy's Coaching Model

Hereby announce the coaching model of mine just come into being.

SAPPHIRE
•Searching: for needs, hints, values…
•Acknowledging: achievement, perseverance
•Possibility-finding: perspective sharing
•Planning: goal, strategy, tactic, pathway, experiment
•Hermesing: take a break, provide feedback, resources, information as a go-giver.
•Illustrating: for visualization, leverage the power of resources, supports and imagination.
•Role-playing: practice and face challenges, buffer setting
•Enthusing: encourage to step forward with confidence

FC103 Effective feedback

Topic 1
Discussion
1. How do you feel about receiving feedback?
If I was asked for permission before receiving feedback, it would be more acceptable. It helps me become more aware of being neutral instead of defending. A real feedback without criticism or judgment makes me feel kind of nervous but still gratitude toward the feedback giver.
4. What is the difference between feedback and criticism?
Feedback is merely mirroring back what is observed without extra opinions or judgments. Just like a mirror, a feedback should be neutral and objective, not positive nor negative. But a criticism may contain any of that mentioned above.
Then a feedback evokes awareness while a criticism draws defenses or attacks.
5. What is the purpose of feedback in a coaching situation?
For greater understanding, awareness and clarity, a coach may apply effective feedback. It can also provide insight, open thoughts and expand vision which helps a lot to clients.

Reflection and Application
1. 3 people’s feedback
My wife’s feedback on my emceeing the birthday banquet of my uncle:
“You looked not nervous at all…the atmosphere was fantastic and joyful.”
My crew’s feedback on the training delivery of the new-hired orientation:
“How’s the participation of the new-hired? Do you think they like the course or not?”
“I think they enjoyed the class very much from the clues of their laughter and the serious thinking faces”
My colleague’s feedback in the farewell letter:
“I am glad to know you…thank you for the kindly help always…I am honored to work with you.”
2. How’s the feedback
My response: Thank you for the feedback, that’s quite meaningful to me.
Some feedback was better than others for they pointed out specific items or issues that I could catch what they were talking about instead of common general ideas or comments. When I asked my crew to feedback, I transferred the focus on the feedback from trainees instead of me, the trainer; it seems more indirect and much easier for her to give feedback to me.
From this exercise I learned much about giving feedback and asking for feedback as well. It would be more acceptable if giving feedback focused on the observation, conveying not the details only but the information that appear obviously. In our culture, most people might feel reluctant and uncomfortable when being asked for feedback. It may automatically remind them “political issue” right away. Maybe ask them the opinion of the third party would be much easier for them to tell the truth.


Topic 2
1. When and how might you use role-play with your clients?
Not only when my clients are unsure on how to have a conversation with someone or have some fears around how to say and to proceed, but also in the moment of rehearsing the steps moving forward to their splendid victory, that I would love to use role play. I would use presuppositional questions such as:
What would they say if you had done it well?
What would you do to make it happen?
…then how would you respond to her reaction?


Reflection and Application
1. 3 situations suit for using role-play.
A. To work out the action plan by rehearsing the steps they may make to move forward.
B. To practice before hand if the client is fear about what to say
C. To rehearse when the client is unsure how to conduct a meeting.

2. A friend of my was dealing with the bottom 5 % performance interview and found himself kind of resisting to face that awkward situation. We both agreed on his willing to overcome this situation and further more to benefit interviewees through this interview. He set some procedure of the interview to clarify the purpose, the methods and the principles he would like to apply in this interview. While role-playing, I acted as an angry employee and he tried to use the principles to calm me down and focus on the performance improving. At the 2nd round, I played as a sensitive employee in his team and he found it’s hard to address any words he attempted to speak out. After practicing, he felt more confident and less reluctant to do the interview.

3. Another “interviewer” came to me the other day (thanks to the recommendation of the former one) and we tried to make her more confident with the bottom 5% interview. At the first time, she found herself not well-prepare about the details and records of interviewees. At the 2nd time, she practiced the whole process of interview from the opening to the closing and corrected herself in wording several times. Then I played the role she would play as a interviewer and she act as the interviewee. I repeated the process that she just performed. She felt “my” interview with her was comfortable and helpful. I said that’s just what she did before. She was confident and happy to help the interviewee then.

A friend of mine was suffering being a sandwich between her mother and boyfriend. I drew on the practice of constellation and asked her to arrange the position of her boyfriend and her mom for several times. During the process, we practiced the roles of herself, her mom and her boyfriend to speak out what they really want to express. She was strongly touched and found herself a better place to stand on, a more useful gesture to make peaceful and even delighting situation.

FC102 Reflection and Application

1. Pick an area of your life, or someone else’s life, where a problem has persisted for some time. Discern the Perspective, and ReFrame it.

A friend of mine works as a training specialist in the HR dept. of a company was worrying of being laid off because of the economical depression. She did great jobs and made significant contributions for her company but the training budget for next year still decreased tremendously. She felt helpless and lost enthusiasm about her job. After discussed about the success she made before, we compared the situation thoroughly and found all the conditions about her company and herself were still the same(some of them even getting better) but only required more cost-constrained-focused. She shifted her perspective to positive ones and reframed the viewpoints of these changes. I found her regain her confidence and start to work out some strategy for the coming challenges.


2. Call a friend or colleague who has been complaining about something. Share with them the concept of Perspective, which you are studying, and ask them if they are interested in some quick coaching to help them ReFrame their Perspective.

I visited a cousin of mine during the Chinese New Year and shared with him the studying in ICA. When I “happened to” mention about the idea of perspective and reframing, it’s easy to find something sparkling in his eyes. He told me that maybe he could think of his boss, whom he is always complaining about, in a more sympathetic way.

Reflection FC102 ~ Topic 3 Discussion

1. In your view, what are the three most powerful perspectives from which someone could live their life?
Trust is the foundation of all positive perspectives I will say. Trust can be as hard as iron but still a fragile as crystal. One can build everything on the base of trust but destroy it in a glance if the trust is vanished.
Action is the second powerful perspective in my point of view. Action makes changes and thus ensures the opportunity of fulfillment.
Contribution would b one of the most powerful perspectives. When thinking about contribution, one can be more creative, more accountable of one’s role, and will embrace the challenge of adventure and exploration.


2. What is a disempowering perspective you have been using lately?
Reaction is the disempowering perspective I have been using lately to slow down the movement toward the perfection of my job. I just follow the ISO requirement and avoid making mistakes.

REFLECTION FC102 ~ Topic 2

1. What would be possible if you were a master of re-framing your own perspective?
I would accept myself and enjoy my being more positively. Define challenges as blessings. Become more confident and brave to achieve what I deserve. I think I could be a active, optimistic, charming and happy person if I were a master of re-framing my own perspective.

2. What else might you need to obtain complete happiness and fulfillment?
I think I am blessed to own so much already. If I could help others and give more to those who I love, it would be even better. I need to obtain the wisdom and demonstrate the best me. That would be my fulfillment and celestial happiness.

REFLECTION FC102 ~ Topic 1

1. When have you experienced a change in your perspective? What did it take for you to change your point of view?
That was my first time to lead a virtual team for a creation workshop facilitating. Most of the facilitators were still green hands and suffering heavy duty job loadings. The preparation for the workshop was time consuming and that made me nervous about our progress. Team members presented themselves reluctantly and silently under the pressure from me. Not any creative idea was proposed in our meeting. Then I gave up pushing them and started to share my concerns about this situation and tried to elicit the thoughts from them. They broke the frozen atmosphere and continued the dialogue. When we went back to discussion, I focused more about the freedom and creation of thoughts rather than worrying about time constrain. The shift of this perspective retrieved our pleasure in sharing which we regarded as our core value and speeded up the progress.


2. How will helping your clients change their perspective make a difference in their lives?
Clients might be suffering from all kinds of fear and being controlled by their circumstance. With a different point of view, just a small step shift, they can still be aware of the situations or face the problems, but cast their fear aside, have the insight of whole picture. They may find themselves got nothing to lose. They will become more confident and dare to pursue what they want.

Reflection FC101

1. If you have previously worked in a field that is related to coaching, which of the skills you applied in that field are applicable to coaching? Which are not applicable to coaching?

I am working as a Training and Development manager in a company of IT industry. I used to take advantage of a tool named Critical Business Issue (CBI) Interview for the annual training planning. During the interview, I will ask the interviewee certain structured questions concerning about his/her goal aligned to our business mission and corporate vision, strategy to achieve the goal, and the most important, any possible issues that will disturb the achievements. Then we will work side by side to figure out what and where the resources are to leverage with. In this portion, I apply skills about active listening and goal clarifying.
Nevertheless, I also take charge of solution delivering when it comes to my professional field that what kind of training resource suits their needs best concerning the interviewee’s constraints. When some given technical areas are outside my expertise, I will say this portion being not applicable to coach.

2. When might you refer a client to a therapist or psychologist for counselling rather than continuing with coaching?
If the client appears to abandon oneself to past events or being mentally dysfunctional that refuses to look forward, it would be better referring the client to a therapist or psychologist.

3. How is coaching related to mentoring? How is it different?
Mentoring and coaching are both aimed at the growing and motivation of targets. Similar skills are applied in goal setting, strength discovering and action planning. But a mentor is usually a expert, a teacher or a role model in certain field and very experienced with the solutions or resources while a coach is not necessary being an expert in a given area. A coach is more like a partner with equal position.

4. How could a business consultant alter their business to become a business coach? What are the key differences in the services they would provide?
It would be a niche and also a limitation for the altering of a business consultant. It’s a niche because a consultant should has expertise in certain business issues with their strong knowledge base. It is also a limitation, however, the knowledge base the consultant grasp will stifled the opportunity of creative solutions, especially in the areas outside their specialty.
Asking questions rather than giving answers would be the very first step for a consultant to be a coach. Realize the situation with the client’s viewpoint. Cooperate with a client to use his/her knowledge and answers than yours instead.
The key differences in the services that a consultant or a coach provides are:
1. a consultant provides answers, solutions, judgments, analysis while a coach provides opportunities for a client to find out what mentioned above from oneself.
2. a consultant deals only with issues in a given area while a coach conducts with multiple issues in any areas which are significant influenced mutually.

5. What is meant by the saying “all coaching is life coaching after the first three sessions”? Do you agree with this statement? Why? Why not?

The saying “all coaching is life coaching after the first three sessions” means that life coaching has great influences on any other coaching. I will say, life coaching establishes the solid foundation of all coaching. Every person is an unique creature. We cannot understand one well without taking one’s life into consideration. Using the holistic approach shall help us a lot in both goal setting and action planning. Moreover, life coaching will elicit positive effects from a client to empower one’s confidence、courage and even energy of goal achieving.