FC103 Effective feedback

Topic 1
Discussion
1. How do you feel about receiving feedback?
If I was asked for permission before receiving feedback, it would be more acceptable. It helps me become more aware of being neutral instead of defending. A real feedback without criticism or judgment makes me feel kind of nervous but still gratitude toward the feedback giver.
4. What is the difference between feedback and criticism?
Feedback is merely mirroring back what is observed without extra opinions or judgments. Just like a mirror, a feedback should be neutral and objective, not positive nor negative. But a criticism may contain any of that mentioned above.
Then a feedback evokes awareness while a criticism draws defenses or attacks.
5. What is the purpose of feedback in a coaching situation?
For greater understanding, awareness and clarity, a coach may apply effective feedback. It can also provide insight, open thoughts and expand vision which helps a lot to clients.

Reflection and Application
1. 3 people’s feedback
My wife’s feedback on my emceeing the birthday banquet of my uncle:
“You looked not nervous at all…the atmosphere was fantastic and joyful.”
My crew’s feedback on the training delivery of the new-hired orientation:
“How’s the participation of the new-hired? Do you think they like the course or not?”
“I think they enjoyed the class very much from the clues of their laughter and the serious thinking faces”
My colleague’s feedback in the farewell letter:
“I am glad to know you…thank you for the kindly help always…I am honored to work with you.”
2. How’s the feedback
My response: Thank you for the feedback, that’s quite meaningful to me.
Some feedback was better than others for they pointed out specific items or issues that I could catch what they were talking about instead of common general ideas or comments. When I asked my crew to feedback, I transferred the focus on the feedback from trainees instead of me, the trainer; it seems more indirect and much easier for her to give feedback to me.
From this exercise I learned much about giving feedback and asking for feedback as well. It would be more acceptable if giving feedback focused on the observation, conveying not the details only but the information that appear obviously. In our culture, most people might feel reluctant and uncomfortable when being asked for feedback. It may automatically remind them “political issue” right away. Maybe ask them the opinion of the third party would be much easier for them to tell the truth.


Topic 2
1. When and how might you use role-play with your clients?
Not only when my clients are unsure on how to have a conversation with someone or have some fears around how to say and to proceed, but also in the moment of rehearsing the steps moving forward to their splendid victory, that I would love to use role play. I would use presuppositional questions such as:
What would they say if you had done it well?
What would you do to make it happen?
…then how would you respond to her reaction?


Reflection and Application
1. 3 situations suit for using role-play.
A. To work out the action plan by rehearsing the steps they may make to move forward.
B. To practice before hand if the client is fear about what to say
C. To rehearse when the client is unsure how to conduct a meeting.

2. A friend of my was dealing with the bottom 5 % performance interview and found himself kind of resisting to face that awkward situation. We both agreed on his willing to overcome this situation and further more to benefit interviewees through this interview. He set some procedure of the interview to clarify the purpose, the methods and the principles he would like to apply in this interview. While role-playing, I acted as an angry employee and he tried to use the principles to calm me down and focus on the performance improving. At the 2nd round, I played as a sensitive employee in his team and he found it’s hard to address any words he attempted to speak out. After practicing, he felt more confident and less reluctant to do the interview.

3. Another “interviewer” came to me the other day (thanks to the recommendation of the former one) and we tried to make her more confident with the bottom 5% interview. At the first time, she found herself not well-prepare about the details and records of interviewees. At the 2nd time, she practiced the whole process of interview from the opening to the closing and corrected herself in wording several times. Then I played the role she would play as a interviewer and she act as the interviewee. I repeated the process that she just performed. She felt “my” interview with her was comfortable and helpful. I said that’s just what she did before. She was confident and happy to help the interviewee then.

A friend of mine was suffering being a sandwich between her mother and boyfriend. I drew on the practice of constellation and asked her to arrange the position of her boyfriend and her mom for several times. During the process, we practiced the roles of herself, her mom and her boyfriend to speak out what they really want to express. She was strongly touched and found herself a better place to stand on, a more useful gesture to make peaceful and even delighting situation.